What most mothers care about is their kids being happy, kind, good people. Some mothers are not your biological mother. They are the mother that took care of you and taught you how to be kind, honest, to behave well, and how to find happiness in your life.
According to the Mahayana view, when Buddha was in Tushita Heaven teaching as a bodhisattva, the time came when he wanted to go to Earth as Buddha. When someone wants to be born on this planet for such a big purpose, they have to ensure they go to the right place. If born in the wrong place, under wrong conditions, they could not do much. So, first Buddha had to ensure the right timing. If Buddha came too early, no one would have been ready, and he would have become useless. Buddha checked the right time and then for the right place. Maybe India was the best place to start the Dharma. Buddha never discriminated against any caste, but people in India did so very much. If Buddha had been born in a very low caste, nobody would have listened to him and would have ignored him. That’s why he had to be born in the right caste.
He also checked for the right mother to conceive him. That’s important. Buddha chose his biological mother, Mahamaya. She was a princess. Her parents’ first daughter was very special, and they called her Maya, which means miracle woman. Afterwards, their younger daughter was even more special, so they named her Mahamaya, greater Maya. She was very special, having prayed to become Buddha’s mother for many, many lives. When bodhisattvas pray, not all of them pray to become teachers. Some pray that they may heal people who are sick, or to be able to help at orphanages. Some bodhisattvas pray to become the mother of a buddha; to use their physical body to provide a great being who can help many, many people.
Her character mattered too. A Buddha born to an evil mother would not have worked. But his mother was full of qualities. In Tibetan, one is called tob pa jin ma yin pa, a woman who does not act upset with everybody, which is very helpful. Sometimes you are not angry, but sort of angry with everybody, and you don’t smile. You are very serious and, purposely or not, in other’s eyes, it always looks like you are angry. Everyone is scared of you and wants to run away from you. Buddha’s mother’s character was not like that. A second point is about people with a lot of divisive speech. Some people are friendly but have a lot of divisive speech. On one side, they talk and say a lot of bad things about others and then go to the other side and do the same thing the other way. Buddha’s mother was not like that. She said good things about people.
Another point is being faithful. Recently Geshe Yeshe Thabkhe shared about the time Buddha went to see a farmer and asked him, “What are you doing?” The farmer said, “I am planting crops, what are you doing?” Buddha said, “I am doing similar things, but in a different way. You are farming on regular soil and putting down barley seeds or rice. I am farming on the field of faith and seeding wisdom there.” If someone is not faithful, even if you throw a bunch of wisdom there, it’s use-less. Like throwing seeds on pavement. Nothing will grow. To grow something, the soil should be soft, ready to grow anything. If you are not faithful, it means you don’t want to practice, you don’t want to believe in the practice. You don’t want to even learn anything. There is no faith-fulness. Even if someone teaches you a lot of things, nothing goes in your heart. Buddha’s mother was not that negligent. She was very faithful, respectful. She understood there were more things she had not understood yet. Faith doesn’t mean you believe like an idiot, but that you like something and want to understand more. That is one part of faith.
Another is being kind, all the time. Then having a virtuous mind. That means by nature, Mahamaya’s mind was always wanting to help, never wanting to harm. If you look at little kids, some of them always think about how they can help. They also say, “What can I do to help you? What can I do for you?” Some kids always think the other way, like, “How can I break that thing?” like monkeys. In a recent story, I was talking about monkeys in Dharamsala. When they see a nice flowerpot, they go there and eat the flowers a little bit. When the owner comes out and says “Shoo!”, they will pick up the flowerpot and smash it and run away. That’s the kind of mind that wants to break things and hurt and harm. I think it is based on previous life or on how they grew up, a kind of non-virtuous mind.
Buddha’s mother was also wise, generous, and reliable. That is very important. We need people who are reliable and stable. Most times, don’t change your mind like a flag in the wind, going wherever the wind blows. The mind should be stable. Buddha’s mother was not wild. She was always disciplined, careful and stable. The opposite of that is being unpredictable. She also was humble, and she never failed her duty or work. Sometimes people are doing lot of things about other people and forget what they are supposed to do for themselves. Sometimes that is lack of mindfulness. She was not like that. She took care of herself too.
When Buddha was born, he was born to a woman who had these many qualities. Why is that important? If the mother has these qualities, it will affect their kids.
Qualities to Bring Buddha Close, A Vesak Day and Mother’s Day Talk – (Demo Rinpoche – Ancient Wisdom. Modern Times. #241 May 11, 2025)